Latest Posts

  • Family Chat: When Your Family Doesn’t Support You

    I want to start by honoring the heart-wrenching journey you've been on over the last few decades. You describe the experience of so many LGBTQ Christians: you desperately wanted to be a good Christian and a good son. You would have married a woman or white-knu...

  • Family Chat: The Friendships That Survive

    I’m excited to launch a new series of conversations here! I’m calling them Family Chats because I want them to feel like the conversations we have with our people, where we can ask difficult or embarrassing questions and entertain nuanced responses. It’s also ...

  • Interview with Emerge (and a new Q&A series)

    I'm delighted to share a recent interview I did with Emerge Magazine! Emerge is a new digital publication designed to serve as an inclusive medium for LGBTQI Christians of all walks of life. From pulpits to think pieces, people tend to forget that a significan...

  • Church Clarity: A New Website That Highlights Church Policies

    A new website called Church Clarity launched today with the goal of encouraging churches to be clear about their policies about LGBTQ people. They don't advocate for churches to be affirming of same-sex relationships or non-affirming; they simply want churches...

  • Love That Endures In The Trump Era

    I don't know a single person who isn't exhausted by our political crisis at the moment. Everyone I know (conservative, progressive, and moderate) hopes we live for a time when we won't feel the threat of nuclear war or racially-motivated violence every day. We...

  • Campus Communities for LGBTQ College Students

    Students are back in school now and, as always, LGBTQ students are on my mind. College is an exciting and terrifying time. These are the years when you admit things to yourself that you had to suppress before. It's when we question everything we previously ass...

  • Meet My Fiancé

    I first heard about Amanda Hite in the Fall of 2015. My friend Dave and I were scrolling through Instagram over lunch when he suddenly squealed, "Oh my gosh! I have an Insta-crush on this super hot lesbian named Amanda Hite and she just wrote the most adorable...

  • Church Policies About LGBT Christians

    If you’ve served in leadership at a church or a Christian organization, policies about LGBT people have surely come up. It comes up when a lesbian couple asks to have their baby dedicated or baptized. Policies are questioned when a boy in the youth group begin...

  • What I’ve Been Up To And Into

    I was on a panel at Calvin College earlier this week to talk about sexual orientation change efforts. The stories are heartbreaking and, sadly, they're about a movement that's still very much alive. Young people are still sent to Christian conversion organizat...

  • Saints For The Rest Of Us

    No one prepares you for the lows in life. We’re well-versed in stories of triumph over struggles, but no one taught us how to go on living when we’re lost. We become drifters in different seasons for different reasons, whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a c...

  • You Don’t Need Permission To Take Your Seat At The Table

    My favorite part of speaking around the country is getting to listen to stories from other cities. I like to sit in circles with small groups of new friends, hear stories about their communities, and encourage them in whatever ways I can. A common theme that c...

  • How to Stand Strong with a Soft Heart

    Tomorrow Donald Trump will be the President of the United States of America. Even if he’s #notyourpresident, he will be the President of the United States, and we have to figure out how we’re going to order our lives during a Trump presidency. I know we’re all...

  • Back to Blogging: Some Updates and Hopes

    After an extended break from blogging, I’m back in the game. I initially stepped away at my employer’s request, and then I continued to lay low because life happened. My views on how the church can best support LGBT people shifted, which was kind of a big deal...

  • A Place For LGBTQ College Students Who Won’t Feel Safe With InterVarsity

    In May of this year, I was invited by the InterVarsity chapter at UCLA to speak about what it’s like to be a gay Christian. The crowd was packed with LGBTQ students who came because they heard a lesbian Christian was going to talk about Jesus. Some came for th...

  • Forgiveness

    Shortly after I graduated from college, I sat down with an old mentor and told her about the years that had passed since we’d last been together. I told her about the highs (like running a marathon) and the lows (like failing fitness class). We talked about my...